Grieving Your Body: What No One Tells You About Physical Decline

I was an elite athlete in my 20s until injury cut it short. In my late twenties, two shoulder surgeries and an old hip injury kept resurfacing. My body was changing in ways I couldn’t control, and it pushed me to rethink how I approached my own strength and health—and, honestly, my life, career, and mindset. I’m not glad it happened, but I was forced to learn to adapt. When parts of my identity were falling away, I had to reinforce others, which helped me become more well-rounded.

By my 40s, the setbacks stacked up, and showing up to work on a knee scooter was humbling—I went from feeling inspirational to somewhat of a fraud. When your body has been your superpower, changing course can be depressing and disorienting. But it forced me to redefine strength as steadiness, patience, and consistency. I asked for help—real guidance, not just advice—started sitting with the discomfort (hello, Buddhist meditation), and found blood flow restriction training. Plot twist: my strength came back—not “twenties-strong,” but “confident-in-my-body-again” strong.

Aging and injury forced me to adjust and made me a better coach because it made me more human. I am my client now; I can empathize deeply with the ups, downs, and “why does my hip feel 87 today?” That trust changes everything.

What I’d Tell You If You’re In It Right Now

Don’t give up. Keep looking for help. Keep trying different approaches. Our bodies are amazing structures that can rebuild and recreate and heal. The worst thing you can do is just stop and be static. I would not have regained what I did without asking for help from so many different people.

Don’t focus on the deadline. I used to be so anxious about healing faster. I’d push myself and end up re-injuring things, making everything take longer. Stay in the moment—one foot in front of the other, no finish line—and you’ll be less frustrated. You’ll progress at whatever rate your body is capable of. Forcing it just makes it take longer.

Shift your focus elsewhere. We all have so many parts of ourselves—physical self, career self, caregiver self, creative self. When we get too locked into just one or two areas, we become imbalanced. If one area isn’t going well, that’s when our identity gets crushed. But what’s another part of yourself you can tap into to find light and joy while you’re working through the hard part? It’s not about ignoring what’s struggling. It’s about balancing it.

Look for the gain. Anytime there’s a loss, eventually there will be some gain that came from it. Sometimes in the moment it doesn’t feel like there is one. But years later, you’ll see it. I would’ve rolled my eyes back then; now I know it’s true.

I’m not as one-dimensional anymore. I’m more fulfilled. I have better relationships. And honestly? I feel better at 55 than I did throughout my entire 40s.

I’m not “at” acceptance. I practice it every day. Some days it lands, some days it doesn’t. That’s fine. Keep moving—and you’ll keep finding yourself, again and again.